You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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