from now on my penis is your penis
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
