ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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