google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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