20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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