i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
