You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
and she was petting her beer can
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
