My first STD was from a foam party
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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