Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
two words...techno handjob
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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