I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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