I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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