he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
This can only be settled by a dance off.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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