I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
