i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
