do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
