There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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