imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
