oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
