If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
