I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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