Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
