He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
