my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize