Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
