you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
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You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I need moral support for this bender
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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