I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
