my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
