i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i believe in u and ur pee
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
