I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
