If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
