just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
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Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
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I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
i out mim tonsoeep
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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