After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
