btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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