do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Randomize
