I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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