Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
