He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
