So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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