plz talk dirty to me
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
