can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
