your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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