So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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