I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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