Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
