i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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