Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
