Little spoons don't ask big questions
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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