I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize