i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize