I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
