Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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