Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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