I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
