This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
