alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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