Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
