When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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