I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
