Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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