My sheets look like a crime scene.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize