U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
