i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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