How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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